Let Go and Communicate

We all have our backgrounds from which we come from, situations in the past which have shaped us and lessons we have learnt from. A common mistake most of us make is to carry our past on our shoulders and take it with us wherever we go. This habit is usually one of the big reasons we find it difficult to lead happy lives. We allow our previous experiences to determine who we are today and the fear of making past mistakes to prohibit us from moving forward.

   

Have you ever been in a discussion with your partner which started probably because of a minor current event, but somehow you end up fighting about problems and events that have happened in the past? This is not only pointless in the attempt of resolving the current issue but may also in most cases ends up being very confusing. 

So let’s make it simple. If you are upset because your spouse has done or not done something that has hurt your feelings or bothered you in some way; Communicate this to them without falling off track. For instance: Are you upset because you feel like you are lifting most of the wait at home and believe that your spouse should be contributing more? Well then say so! Ask for their help in a kind and respectful manner. They are probably used to you doing most of the house chores and because you do not express that you need help, they probably think you don’t want it. Or maybe you have tried to express it to them in a nonproductive manner? 

So instead of saying things like: 

‘You don’t help me enough around here and you take it for granted that I will always do everything, just like that time when we went to … and I had to do everything by myself because you could not give a damn!’ 

Try something like: 

‘I am feeling very tired today and need some help. Would you mind tiding up in the living room while I take a shower?' 

Keep it clean and simple. Do not evoke old bad memories that are bound to get you even more worked up and upset. Chances are that you will get better results this way. If you do keep recalling his/her previous mistakes, your spouse probably will feel overwhelmed and not know where to start even if they do want to correct their mistakes. If they believe that you resent them for things that they have done in the past and for which they cannot do anything about now; it is probable that this will cause withdrawal from the relationship over time. 

So the past is in the past for a reason. Besides your spouse must have done something right for you to want to be with them today! Learn from your past; use it as a stepping stone to create a better present and future. Don’t evoke feeling that have made you sad in the past because they are bound to make you sad in the present to, if you do so.

Make a choice to be a happier person and to learn how to let go of the things that are weighing you down.

Xoxo Natasha